Kirk Cousins Reportedly Takes Getting Benched Really Hard, But Assures Falcons Fans Making $45 Million a Year Is Still Really Easy
Falcons quarterback Kirk Cousins is reportedly taking his benching this season to heart. However, he wants fans to know that earning $45 million a year makes sitting on the sidelines surprisingly comfortable.
“This hasn’t been easy for me, guys. Every time I’m benched, it’s like a dagger in my heart,” a visibly emotional Cousins shared after being benched in favor of 1st round draft pick Michael Penix.
“I want Falcons fans to understand that being benched is the last thing I want. I take it very hard, especially at this point in my career. But making $45 million while watching from the bench? Incredibly easy. Honestly, I could keep this up for years.”
Cousins, who was replaced by a quarterback earning a fraction of his salary, struggled to make his mark in recent games, leading to his demotion. Reports from the locker room suggest that while Cousins initially felt devastated, he quickly found solace after confirming via text with his accountant that his paycheck hadn’t skipped a beat.
“I was so upset. I thought I had a solid chance to prove myself here in Atlanta,” Cousins admitted, gently fidgeting with a money clip holding his “emotional support cash”, his gold teeth reflecting in the light.
“I feel like I let the team down, and that hurts. But I want Falcons fans to know I’ll be OK. Whatever sting I feel right now will be get better when I take Julie and the kids to Maui in a few months on a private jet.”
