Op-Ed by Eli Manning: “Elephants Would Be My Favorite Horses If Bears Didn’t Exist”

I love horses. Horses are a top 5 animal for me all time. I can draw horses better than most, but that’s another story for another time. Elephants would be my favorite horses if bears didn’t exist. Hello, my name is Eli and I used to play QB.

Why bears over elephants? That’s a really good question. I’ve thought about that a lot. Did you know bears can run? They can run really fast. Elephants can run too, but they can’t hit bear speeds. Advantage bear.

I really like elephant ears. Probably my favorite animal ears. Probably. Definitely the best horse ears. That’s not even close. When I was 5 dad took me to the zoo and I pointed at elephants for almost 4 hours. It was the best day of my life. I saw so many ears that day. Good ones. Advantage elephant.

Bears have huge knives on their hands. Elephants have knives too, but they’re mouth knives. Looks uncomfortable. I can’t see me drinking juice boxes with those mouth knives. Advantage bears.

Tie breaking round, I could spell bear way before elephant. Peyton had to help me spell elephant for years. For this article I had it written down on paper, but even if I didn’t I know how to spell it. I only had to look at it three times, maybe four. Bear is easy. Way easier than elephant. Advantage Bear.

I hope you enjoyed my stories today about horses. Now that I’m retireded, I plan on doing a lot more with my passion for horses. I love horses more than anyone in the world I think. Except maybe other horses, but even then I don’t know. I think I love horses more than most horses at least. I wish there were purple horses. That’s actually why I started drawing horses. To make them purple in my mind.

Thank you. My name is Eli and I used to play QB. Now I mostly talk about horses.

-OP ED BY ELI MANNING