Sean Payton Confirms He Still Plans to Collect His Own “Bounty” on Brett Favre
DENVER, CO — In a press conference that took an unexpectedly dark turn, Broncos head coach Sean Payton shocked reporters today by revisiting an old scandal.
After covering the typical football topics—his plans for the upcoming season, the Broncos' training camp developments, and the team's Super Bowl hopes—Payton casually dropped a bombshell: he still fully intends to collect on the infamous bounty he placed on Brett Favre over a decade ago.
“I’ve always been a man of my word,” Payton said with an unsettling grin. “When I commit to something, I see it through. Coaching is my life right now, but once I hang up the headset, I’ve got unfinished business. I’ll be hunting down Brett Favre to claim what’s mine.”
“To this day, Brett Favre still roams free suckling on the same air my children rely on to breathe. It makes me sick. His very existence is an insult to everything I stand for. Every time one of his commercials comes on TV hawking jeans or copper knee supports I throw up a little in my mouth. It’s time I finished what I started over a decade ago.”
The "Bountygate" scandal, as it was known, involved accusations that Payton's New Orleans Saints offered cash rewards to players for injuring opponents, with Brett Favre being a high-profile target during the 2009 NFC Championship Game. While most thought the scandal was buried along with the fines, suspensions, and reprimands that followed, Payton has made it clear. This ends with Favre in custody, dead or alive.
Sean Payton appears to be organizing a hunt for Brett Favre, assembling a team of disgraced coaches from the infamous 2009 Saints. This group, reuniting as a makeshift "death squad," aims to collect the unclaimed bounties they set in motion 13 years ago. The hunt, slated to be filmed for a TLC series, will reportedly kick off with Payton gathering his old crew of bounty hunters, including his former right-hand man, Gregg Williams, who claims he never stopped mentally pursuing targets like Favre.
"Not a day goes by that I don't think about that freeloading, welfare-stealing jean pusher," said former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams.
"I've been begging Sean for years to restart our crusade. When he finally came for me, I was working on an oil tanker off the coast of Texas. Before his helicopter even touched down, I could feel a shift in the cosmos, signaling that vengeance was near," Williams said, tears welling in his eyes.
"He didn't need to say a word after he landed. Every night, I replay that game in my mind, thinking about how we wounded our prey, beat him in battle, and then let him limp away. Thirteen years later, we all know what needs to be done. You tell that son of a **** Favre I'm coming for him, and hell's coming with me, you hear me?"
