Chiefs Hire OJ Simpson as Consultant to Help Patrick Mahomes Reduce Distractions

Dedicated to rekindling their Super Bowl ambitions, the Kansas City Chiefs have brought in former NFL star O.J. Simpson as a team consultant to help quarterback Patrick Mahomes manage the distractions impacting his performance this season.

"Patrick’s plate is pretty full right now, and we thought someone with Mr. Simpson’s experience could offer valuable guidance,” said Chiefs head coach Andy Reid. "I’ve never been a young superstar in this league, so I can’t truly understand the pressures he’s facing. O.J. handled the challenges of balancing an NFL career and acting in the ’70s and ’80s while remaining at the top of his game. I’ve tried to help Patrick myself, but maybe it’s best to let O.J. take a stab at it.”

Mahomes has been statistically underwhelming this season, with some critics attributing his struggles to off-the-field distractions. The Chiefs are optimistic that Simpson’s mentorship can help Mahomes regain his MVP-caliber focus.

“It’s only been a week, but I’ve already learned so much from O.J.,” Mahomes shared.

“He’s been incredibly attentive and thorough with his advice. He’s asked a lot of questions about my family dynamics, visitors at my house, and even my home security setup. The other day, he inspected my car, saying, ‘You never know when you might need to hit the road.’ I think he’s encouraging me to take time for myself and clear my head, which I appreciate.

"He even bought me some gloves recently for the colder weather. I mentioned they were a little tight, but he just smiled and said, ‘Perfect.’ He’s got a unique perspective, and I admire his optimistic outlook. I’m really enjoying working with him.”

Drew Forbes

Drew was raised by his 3 dads on an Emu farm in Humboldt, Iowa. He has an irrational fear of cockroaches, and seafood restaurants that leave some of the skin on the fish they serve. In August, 2019 Drew blacked out drinking bourbon Manhattans, and when he woke up the next morning this website had been created. Drew doesn’t have a beard, but if he decided to grow one it would easily become the most interesting thing about him. When he grows up some day, he wants to die.

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