Giants Announce They’ll Retire Eli Manning’s Favorite Blanket During Their First Home Game
The New York Giants announced this week they will be honoring the great Eli Manning, by retiring his favorite blanky in Metlife stadium during the Giants first home game this year.
“This franchise, and the city of New York owe Mr. Manning a great debt of gratitude for what he did for this team.” Said Giants owner, John Mara. “The least we could do is hang something of his in the stadium he used to call home. We thought at first taking away Eli’s blanket would be something he would not want, but we’ve been assured by Eli’s father, Archie that Mr. Manning has been learning to share. The Manning family for the most part thinks this gesture will be a good test for the 40 year old legend, and we’re told his cooperation could lead to a lot more outside play time for the future hall of famer in the coming weeks.”
Eli Manning’s blanky, that he lovingly calls “Binky” has been with the Quarterback for 40 years. Or at least that’s what he’s been led to believe. We interviewed some members of the Manning family, and discovered the original Binky was actually lost during a camping trip in the early 90’s. After days of Eli’s tantrums, Archie Manning was able to find a suitable replacement, that took a little convincing for young Eli to accept as the original.
“That damn blanket has been a curse on this family since the day Elisha got it.” Said Eli’s father, Archie Manning. “That boy took that thing everywhere with him. He brought it to class in college, he wore it over his shoulder the day he got married, I have no doubt it was there in bed the night of his wedding… What a confusing night that must have been for everyone involved, especially Eli. We always looked the other way when he brought that blanket around, because he could throw one hell of a spiral, and he became filled with rage every time we took it from him. But enough is enough, he’s 40 now. It’s time to let the fans enjoy Binky.”
“Please why… Why are you doing this to me?” Said the only member of the Manning family to disagree with the retiring of Eli’s Binky, Eli’s wife, Abby Manning. “I’ve tried taking his… Blanket away in the past. This will not end well for anyone, and I’ll not be in the vicinity when the ceremony takes place. There’s nothing he loves more than Binky, he tells me that daily. I can only imagine the chaos as my husband, the father of my 4 children, with all his strength realizes his blanket is gone forever in a stadium full of thousands.”
“What once was mine, will soon be all of ours, or at least that’s what dad says.” Said Eli Manning about the future honor, and future worst day of his life. “I know some are worried, but please don’t be. I’m this many now. I can use the small crayons now without Peyton or dad in the room. This city gave so much, now I’m giving back. If I should change my mind minutes after it’s done, that’s OK too. What matters is I shared.”
