Delusional Fan Dreams of One Day Watching the Vikings Lose a Super Bowl
In a brash mixture of delusion and grounded optimism, local millennial and long-suffering Vikings fan Drew Forbes revealed this week his ultimate fantasy: to one day watch his beloved Vikings lose the Super Bowl.
"I know it sounds crazy, but I hope while I’m still alive I get to see my team lose it all," said Forbes, a 36-year-old dreamer with both a Teddy Bridgewater and Christian Ponder jersey still hanging in his closet. "I've been a Vikings fan my whole life, and I've seen them come so close to losing it all, only to have it snatched away at the last minute in the NFC Championship."
Forbes went on to explain that he's tired of the constant disappointment that comes with being a Vikings fan. "I just want to experience the release of finally seeing them lose the big game, you know? I love the Vikings with all my heart. I just know it would be cathartic to see them fail on the biggest stage. To be the #1 team to not win the Super Bowl in any given year would really be something."
For most sports fans, the dream is to see their team hoist the championship trophy. But for Forbes and his fellow Vikings faithful, the dream is slightly different. After all, a Super Bowl win would be nice, but a Super Bowl appearance—now that's the stuff of Minnesota fantasies.
The Vikings haven't been to the Big Game since 1977, back when Forbes’ father was naive enough to think the sun would never set on their dynasty of making it to the big dance and then losing in soul crushing fashion every year.
"We're not greedy," Forbes insists. "I know my place as a fan of a Minnesota franchise. We don't need a Super Bowl victory. Just getting there would be enough to fuel a thousand 'What If?' conversations for the next five decades. Can you imagine the memes? The emotional rollercoaster? The existential dread? It would be beautiful."
"I still have nightmares about 1998," Forbes confesses, referencing the infamous missed field goal that crushed the Vikings' Super Bowl dreams. "But those nightmares? They're also dreams—dreams of having more nightmares about dreaming of coming up short. About reaching the ultimate peak of being the undisputed masters of almost always almost winning. That’s the fire that keeps us going."
Many other Vikings fans were quick to condemn Forbes's comments, calling him a traitor to the team. "Real Vikings fans want to see their team lose, no matter the stage," said longtime Minnesota resident and toxic boomer, Karen Larson.
"If Drew really feels that way, maybe he should find a new team with zero rings to be disappointed in. The Lions are on the rise. They look like a team that could lose the Super Bowl any day now."
Despite the backlash, Forbes stands by his controversial statement. "I'm just being honest. We've been through so much heartbreak over the years, it's hard not to think about what it would be like to finally get over the NFC Championship hump and experience what my father witnessed four different times in the 70s. The thrill of almost victory."
To prepare for his fantastical day of defeat, Forbes has developed a rigorous training regimen. Every Sunday, he dons his most recent "NFC North Division Winner" hat, settles into his couch with a selection of comfort foods, various boozes to help him forget, and practices his disappointed-but-proud fan face in the mirror. He's even started a support group for fellow fans, aptly named "Almost Always Anonymous."
"We meet every week to share our stories, our dreams, and our heartbreaks," says Forbes. "It's therapeutic. We laugh, we cry, and we bond over the shared experience of eternal almostness."
Only time will tell if Forbes' fantasy will ever become a reality, but one thing's for sure: the pressure is on for the Vikings to finally deliver a Super Bowl defeat. Skol!
