St. Pete Pulls Plug on $3B Plan to Give Rays Stadium Giant Robot Legs

The Tampa Bay Rays' ambitious stadium deal has reportedly collapsed after the city of St. Petersburg, FL, rejected team owner Stuart Sternberg’s radical proposal to outfit the new stadium with towering robotic legs.

The $3 billion plan would have allowed the stadium to uproot and autonomously walk to a more lucrative market if fan attendance or financial incentives in St. Pete failed to meet expectations.

In a statement, Sternberg expressed disappointment over the city’s reluctance to embrace cutting-edge stadium mobility technology:

"I really wanted this to work out in St. Petersburg, but at the end of the day, the team deserves a stadium with 400- to 800-foot, nuclear-powered robotic legs... legs capable of striding majestically to more desirable locations. It's a shame the city wasn't able to come through on that vision."

The proposal, dubbed "Project Stadiumus Maximus," envisioned a state-of-the-art ballpark that could evacuate during hurricanes, stroll to cities with better tax incentives, and even take leisurely evening walks along the Florida coastline. Despite the apparent logistical and ethical concerns of a free-roaming mega-stadium, Rays executives argued that such mobility was necessary for the long-term viability of the franchise.

City officials, however, remained unconvinced. "We’re open to stadium improvements," said one council member, "but a nuclear-powered, quadruped stadium capable of walking to Las Vegas or Montreal at a moment’s notice is simply not in the best interest of our residents. Especially after Sternberg's proposal that the stadium have the weapons capacity of a battleship."

With the deal officially dead, speculation is mounting about the Rays' next steps. While some believe the team will return to more conventional stadium negotiations in the Tampa area, others suspect Sternberg may already be in talks with private investors or rogue engineers willing to fund his dream of a mobile baseball fortress to life.

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep the Rays in Tampa or other cities within the range of its stadium's robotic legs." Sternberg said. "I just don't want to have to spend my own money."