Kevin Stefanski Hopes Kenny Pickett Forgot All That "New Beginnings" Bullshit He Fed Him
Cleveland Browns Head Coach Kevin Stefanski openly expressed regret during a press conference this morning, confessing he hopes quarterback Kenny Pickett doesn't remember any of the "New Beginnings" bullshit Stefanski fed him when he acquired Pickett from the Eagles last month.
"Honestly, he can't possibly remember all that new chapter, fresh start nonsense I threw at him, right?" Stefanski muttered aloud, seemingly addressing no one in particular, in response to a question about Pickett's future.
"I was pretty hammered that night, talking trades for leftovers with our GM, and next thing I know, Kenny Pickett is calling, ecstatic about his future here. I mean, what was I supposed to tell him… that we were definitely going heavy on QB’s in the draft now that he was here?”
Stefanski, visibly uneasy, glanced anxiously down at his phone, where multiple missed calls and messages from recent 2025 draft picks Dylan Gabriel and Shedeur Sanders lit up the screen.
The gravity of his situation seemed to hit him hard as he recalled passionately reassuring both Gabriel and Sanders individually during heartfelt, emotional calls on draft weekend, telling each they were "his guy" and Cleveland was their fresh start.
"Oh man, this looks bad," Stefanski continued, increasingly agitated. "Both Dylan and Shedeur probably still believe that shit too. I might've said things like 'fresh start,' 'cornerstone of the franchise,' maybe even 'future Hall-of-Famer,' or that ‘I loved you like a son’, I honestly can't recall. It was draft night, emotions were high, and I was wasted."
Stefanski then abruptly turned to reporters, resignedly stating, "Look, can we at least agree this isn't even a top 3 QB blunder that’s been made since I’ve joined the Browns?"
